Josh Hinds - Syndicated columnist - Writer - Author - New Media Publisher :o)
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| Josh Hinds' Motivational & Inspirational Journal Josh Hinds - Syndicated columnist - Writer - Author - New Media Publisher :o) |
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Tuesday, November 19, 2002 Succeed Through The Life Experiences Of Others by Josh Hinds (c) 2002 Dictionary.com defines a mentor as follows: 1. A wise and trusted counselor or teacher. 2. Mentor Greek Mythology. Odysseus's trusted counselor, in whose guise Athena became the guardian and teacher of Telemachus. v. Informal men·tored, men·tor·ing, men·tors v. intr. To serve as a trusted counselor or teacher, especially in occupational settings. v. tr. To serve as a trusted counselor or teacher to (another person). Ok, now that we have broken down into the cold hard facts of what a mentor is, lets touch on some of the benefits that you'll gain from developing strong mentor relationships in your own life. I'm going to give a few examples that I hope you will be able to apply to your own life situation. First off, I believe it's extremely important to understand that to get the maximum benefit from the people you choose to enter into a mentor relationship with, you'll do well to keep in mind that we always get more with honey or when we can sweeten the deal for those we're asking to help us. I'm not saying you have to offer to give your first born child to your prospective mentor, nor should you have to take a second mortgage out on your house :-). The fact is that most of the time mentors give freely of their time. Yet we have to keep clearly in mind that what is free to us, is not to them. It's their time, and often to the people who are leaders in their given area, time is money to them. So you've naturally got to first sweeten the deal for these folks -- make them want to share their knowledge with you. Often times this can be as simple as promising to help another person down the road. It could be any number of things, but the easiest way to find out and I believe encourage others to consider being your mentor, is to ask them what they would want from you in return for being your mentor. Simply let them know that you value them and their time. You know that you may be asking a great deal of them, and for that you are more then willing to offer something back in return for the wisdom they will undoubtedly share with you over the years. Then just ask them what they would want that thing to be. Obviously, some people are going to fire back with a response that isn't within your ability to offer. If this happens simply thank them kindly and be honest. Let them know that you are not at a point in your life where you can offer that. Don't make the mistake of burning any bridges, leave it open so that you can come back to them at a later point if necessary. I have a friend that did just that, and upon doing so was offered an internship with the person he was asking to be his mentor. It seemed that the person appreciated his willingness to reach for more success, but even more appreciated his honesty. Another thing we want to keep clearly in mind as we search out and grow our network of mentors and trusted advisors is to look to those people who have reached a point that we personally judge them to be successful in the particular area that we ourselves want to excel in. I can't begin to tell you the vast number of stories I've heard from people who say they had this wonderful idea, they went to their mother, father, great uncle Joe, whoever, and upon finishing up they were convinced that the idea would not work. Can you relate to this? I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that you have had at least one similar occurrence in your life. The reason for this is simple. Very often, the people they chose to ask for advice didn't know the first thing about achieving at the given task! Look, if you have a dream of making a living a as a public speaker, you better start surrounding yourself with other public speakers who have figured out a way to earn a comfortable living doing so. First off, you will find in the wisdom these people share the fuel to keep you going as you trudge on to your eventual success as a keynote or public speaker. Secondly, you might also end up shaving off years of making the wrong decisions. That in itself is worth a gold mine to your level of achievement in virtually any undertaking. Here is another example, if you want to become a teacher you would be served well to associate with and ask the advice of other teachers. Even more important is to reach out those who have entered the teaching profession and gone beyond and excelled in the world of education. Ask around, in everything there are always the names of people that rise to the top. They become highly regarded in their given endeavor. These are the people you want to reach out to and associate yourself with. Like very often becomes like, whether we choose to admit it or not. It is also very likely that you might end up with several mentors that you can call upon for various life situations. Just this past week I made up my mind that I wanted to make a push to have my columns (the article you're reading now - if you know anyone that can help me reach this goal, I'd appreciate you dropping me an e-mail about it) appear in more traditional media, such as magazines, newspapers, etc. I can tell you, for years I have been syndicating my columns online in some form (dating back as far as '97 or earlier I guess now). I feel as though I've met with some success in this area, yet I've got more lofty goals. At any rate, I decided rather then go along by trial and error as I'd been doing (grant it meeting with moderate success) I would seek the advice of a friend I have come to know and trust over the years, Jeff Keller (http://www.attitudeiseverything.com). Jeff is a public speaker and author, so I had no doubt that I was reaching out to qualified person to ask on such advice. In short order, Jeff had sent me back several real world examples that I could begin to apply to my own scenario... and one idea that will no doubt save me loads of time! Jeff's counsel saved me a huge amount of time and the suggestions he shared were invaluable. The point I want to make with the previous example is very simply, if I would reached out with that question to say my friend that is in real-estate development, do you think the results would have been anywhere as effective as the one I got from Jeff? Probably not, not that my real-estate friend wouldn't have meant well, it's just that he doesn't have the life experiences that Jeff does that make him qualified to advise others on the given topic. There is an old saying I just love, and if you've been reading this column for any length of time you have probably heard me say it before. It is very simply that, "success leaves clues". You will find that in the personal mentor relationships you develop. As well as the countless books, tapes, seminars and courses that can also act as great mentors as well. Along the same lines, I would encourage you to look for ways that you can be a mentor to another person. I have found that one of life's greatest rewards (yes, it even tops monetary rewards as far as I am concerned!) comes when someone takes the time to write a simple note letting me know that something I've written about had a positive impact on them in some way. I am telling you, for a small town country boy from Tuscaloosa, Alabama that's BIG time :-) You have to understand though, that it isn't a feeling that is reserved for a select few. You, me, and the person next to us all have unique talents and life experiences we can share that can play a part in the development of another person. That is powerful stuff! And it is something that I believe is worth exploring in your own life. I believe it is one of the purest forms of giving. And we all know that there is a basic human law that say's "the more you give, the more it in turn seems to make its way back to you". Here is hoping that you're finding yourself at a wonderful point in your life... Your friend in cyberspace, Josh Hinds posted by Josh Hinds | Permalink Tuesday, November 12, 2002 Lead With a Sincere Willingness to Help Others... And Success Always Follows By Josh Hinds (c) 2002 Today I want to invite you to clear the old way of thinking that say's "if it doesn't appear to directly benefit me then it's not worth my time". First off, I'm going to assume that a number of readers of this newsletter (you're likely one of them :-) that doesn't view things in this light anyway. Even so, this is a message that I believe needs to be shared. You see, even if it doesn't apply to you, there is a strong chance you can identify at least one person who does fit this build, can't you? At that point, you'll be able to make the decision whether or not you want to help these folks by sharing the gist of this message. I do hope you will choose to do so. So without further ado, I'd like share some personal examples that I believe do wonderful job of illustrating the importance of 'leading with a sincere willingness to help others'. I truly believe that any success or growth my web site or related newsletters have had is a direct result of my practicing the ideas stated above. From the beginning I tried to follow one simple idea. I wanted to deliver personal development resources to people who might otherwise not have access to them. While at the same time I knew there were a lot of great speakers & authors out there and I wanted to help them get their message out to an audience that was interested in what they had to say. A very simple idea I agree, but the result is that its grown into a full-time business for me. Along the way, I've been doing some consulting with select clients as well (often a direct result of helping someone and them later deciding to work with me). I believe that the result is not near as important as the cause in the above though. It is worth noting that at the time I got started with the web site I didn't really have a clue as to what it would become. I certainly had the idea that I'd like to follow my passion of being a part of the personal development industry, but my vision wasn't much clearer than that. If there's one thing I've come to see first hand it is that action combined with a willingness to grow and learn from our life experiences tends to work-out many of the details that might otherwise block our success. I am certainly not going to say that I didn't take my fair share of wrong turns along the way. Looking back over the years I can see how little decisions might have played out and perhaps resulted in greater monetary rewards, etc. However, as they say, hindsight is 20/20. Not long ago I read a definition of success in a book by Robert Kiyosaki of the Rich Dad, Poor Dad series that said "The definition of success is having the freedom to be yourself". I think that pretty much sums up the way I feel about my own success as well. If you are not at the same point, I hope you'll give that definition some serious reflection. Yet another example of coming from a point of giving can be found in my friend Bob Burg. Bob is a speaker and author of several books, including his Winning Without Intimidation book. Bob has a vast network of relationships he's cultivated over the years. While many of us that know Bob would greatly stop on a dime to help him at a moments notice if he only asked, Bob never does that. It is the most interesting thing. You see, if Bob ever does ask for any help, it is almost always followed by him saying something to the effect of "I don't want you to feel put on the spot because we're friends". Why does Bob do this? Well, first I can tell you it's because Bob is a genuine giver. He is also knows that the more he can benefit others, the more it will strenghten his own personal network. In case you're one of the folks who doesn't quite buy into what I am saying about how giving without expectation tends to result in great rewards, I'd encourage you to check out the interview I did with Bob recently. It is very clear that his approach of giving more then he expects in return pays of big time. Finally, I'm reminded of a client who does computer repair work in my area. He credits sending simple courtesy notes to his clients with being the key to his success. It is important to mention that aside from his company name, address and contact number being on the stationary, there's no visible sign of him asking for business in these notes. Often the notes are nothing more then to say thanks for thinking of me when such and such a problem came up. I was honored to be of service. He'll also combine the notes with a helpful news clipping, or include a bit of free advice that would be valuable to his client. You can't imagine how powerful these simple notes are. Hopefully the previous examples have you excited and eager to look for ways to implement them more into your life. Look around, the opportunities to do so exist, and you simply can't imagine the positive results you'll see begin to manifest from choosing to do so... Your friend in cyberspace, Josh Hinds posted by Josh Hinds | Permalink |
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