Yep. I said it. I just told you to shut up and stop whining. Not many people would dare begin an article with a line like that. But then again, I’m not like most people. I am The Pitbull of Personal Development and the author of the Wall Street Journal #1 Bestseller, Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get A Life. I am not like most self-help authors and speakers.
My approach is a bit different. You won’t agree with all I say. You definitely won’t like all I have to say. That’s good. I want to make you uncomfortable. In fact, I want to make you a little angry – maybe you already are. Because I know when you are angry and uncomfortable, then you will begin to think. And that’s what I really want – for you to think. So let me give you a quick overview of my approach to improving your life and business.
Shut Up. It is impossible to talk and listen at the same time. So stop talking and start listening. Listen to the experts. Listen to those who know more than you do. Listen to great music. Listen to your Self. Listen to your God. Great information is out there just looking for an opportunity to reach you but if you don’t stop talking and start listening, it may never find you. Then know that there are times you should not listen. For instance: Don’t listen to anyone who wants to put you down for any reason. You are plenty good at doing that all on your own; you don’t need anyone else’s help.
Stop Whining. We have become a society of blamers. People get fat and blame the fast food companies instead of the fact they eat too much. Sales people don’t make quota and blame the customer instead of the fact they didn’t make enough sales calls. Business owners blame poor economic conditions for the fact that business is off instead of the fact that their customer service is atrocious.
Here is the plain and simple truth: Everything in your life and business is your own fault. You created it through your thinking, your words and your actions. There is only one place to go to lay blame and that is to the mirror.
Want more? Try this one on: You like it the way it is – regardless of how bad it is. If you didn’t like it, you would have changed it already.
Ouch! That hurts, doesn’t it? Good. Now you are ready to create the life and results you really want.
Get A Life. Want to know why most people are not living lives of success, happiness and abundance? There are only three reasons: They are stupid. They are lazy. They don’t care.
I dare you to come up with a reason other than those. Let me explain. Few people are actually stupid. Everyone knows enough to be successful at something. So it is rare that someone is really too dumb to be successful. The problem is not that we don’t know, the problem is that we don’t do what we already know… which means we are lazy.
How sad to know how to be successful and be too lazy to do it. It must mean you don’t care enough to be successful. How do you explain that to your family? How can you look yourself in the eye? Was that rerun of Seinfeld really all that important? Could you really afford to take that nap? Don’t you care enough to do all you can?
Face it. You could do more. Stop telling yourself how busy you are. Stop the excuses. Just admit to yourself that you could do more than you are doing. You could turn off the TV, come in a little earlier, stay a little later, and work a little harder. The issue is not could you but will you?
Live by design, not by default. Most people spend more time planning their day off than they do their lives. How pitiful. Stop right now and make a list of the kind of results you want to see in your life. Write down where you want to live. The kind of house you want to live in. The kind of car you want to drive. You amount of money you want to earn.
Write down how much you want to weigh. Got it? Now write down what you are doing to make those things happen. Don’t lie. Just tell yourself honestly what you are doing to make the life you really want become a reality. I bet you aren’t doing all that much. Why not? Stop making excuses, stop whining about all the reasons you can’t and aren’t able to have the life you want and start doing something about it. Action changes things. Just start right now. It’s that simple.
“But you don’t understand!” I have read over 3,000 books on success. And I have concluded that most self-help is far too much about the help and not nearly enough about the self. Success is up to you. Period. No excuses accepted. No matter how bad your story is, no matter what you have been through, no matter what tragedy you have experienced, I will guarantee you I can find someone with a sadder story than yours and they figured out a way to be successful.
Too tough? At this point you are probably saying to yourself, “This guy isn’t very motivational.” Good. I don’t believe much in motivation. I am just not sure one person can motivate another to move from where they are to someplace else. I know I can’t. However, I will guarantee you that I can make you so irritated with where you are that you will do almost anything to be someplace else. That’s why I don’t call myself a motivational speaker. In fact, I have trademarked that I am The World’s Only Irritational Speaker.
Besides, most motivational speakers aren’t telling you the truth. You know it, they know it, and I know it. Want me to prove it? Look at what they are saying:
Motivational Myth #1. As long as you have a good, positive attitude everything in your life will be all right. Wrong. I have had a good, positive attitude my whole life and still had a lot of bad things happen to me. A positive attitude won’t keep anything from happening to you. It will only help you deal with what happens to you. Besides, you can be positive and be positively wrong, positively lazy or positively stupid.
Motivational Myth #2. You can be whatever you want to be, have whatever you want to have and do whatever you want to do. Wrong again. You can be, do and have what you have the talent for and what you apply effort towards. If you are short, fat and ugly, that whole supermodel thing probably isn’t going to happen for you. To tell people that anything is possible is to set them up for disaster and disappointment. However, I will say this: No matter what your capabilities are, you can be more than you are right now, do more than you are doing right now and have more than you have right now. And what’s wrong with that?
Motivational Myth #3. Just give 110%. It can’t be done. 100% is all there is. You can’t do more than all there is. To imply that you can is ridiculous. Again, though, this is not a problem for most people. Most people give far less than 100%.
Motivational Myth #4. There are no problems, only opportunities. Where are these people from? I have problems. Really serious issues. Bet you do, too. I find it insulting for anyone to tell me otherwise. Not all problems are opportunities — they are just ugly old problems that must be dealt with and overcome.
So what now? Look yourself in the eye and tell yourself the truth. Admit you could do more. Know you can achieve more both personally and professionally if you will only stop whining and stop blaming and start taking personal responsibility for your results. I believe all of us deserve the best and that to accept anything less than the best for ourselves means we haven’t applied ourselves to the best of our abilities.
“Why should I believe you?” This is the best question anyone could possibly ask me. And the answer: You shouldn’t believe me. You should just take action on as many ideas and concepts as you can and see which ones work for you. If mine work, great – you are ahead of where you were. If they don’t, you haven’t lost much, have you?
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Larry Winget is a five-time New York Times/Wall Street Journal bestselling author. He is a member of the International Speaker Hall Of Fame. He has starred in his own television series and appeared in national television commercials. Larry is a regular contributor on many television news shows on the topics of money, personal success, business and parenting. Find out more at www.larrywinget.com
-Consider some actions you can take now which will move you closer to the destination you want to go. Take a moment to write out where you want to go, what it will look like when you get there (so you’ll recognize it when you get there) and actions, real actions you can use to guide you along your journey. Share your thoughts and feedback on the ideas above in the comments section below.