We all know that if we lack confidence at our workplace, we’ll find it hard to lock in a good position in the company, and achieving financial freedom will seem a far-fetched dream.
With this in mind, let me ask you something: How would it feel if you could walk in your working place, radiating confidence, like Robert De Niro walks on the red carpet at the Oscars? I bet it would feel great. Have no worries though, because it’s not that hard at all; you just need some good tips and you’ll be the star of your own workplace in no time.
Let’s begin!
Dress yourself in the Confidence suit
If Robert De Niro wears a Prada suit when he’s on the red carpet, why can’t you wear the Confidence suit when you’re at your workplace? Here’s what I mean by this:
a) Dress well — You don’t need designer apparel, but your clothes should be clean, wrinkle free, and they should fit you well (you don’t want to look like you’re swimming in your clothes);
b) Be friendly — Don’t listen to anyone who says that at work, serious and professional is the only way to go, corporate people need a warm talk too. Be amiable with all your colleagues, and you might end up with a valuable friend;
c) Smile with your eyes and keep a good eye contact — Always look into the eyes of the person you are talking to, but in a relaxed manner, you don’t want to come across as staring at them. Also, your eyes reveal your soul, so let them convey the happiness and warmth you hold inside of you.
d) Have a good posture — Stand up straight, keep your feet at least 12 inches apart so you evenly distribute your weight, and let your shoulders widen, don’t pull them back.
Following the above tips signals to people that you’re confident and in total control. When the rest of the world believes it, you’ll start believing it too. Isn’t that wonderful?
Don’t be a “know it all”
Nobody likes a cocky person who thinks he’s a walking encyclopedia. Regardless of your experience or the stage you’re at in your career, times will always arise when you’ll struggle to find an answer. When these times come, forget about your ego and ask for help. Confident and wise people understand that they don’t hold the answers to everything, and seeking help from peers isn’t a big deal at all. On the other side, the people you ask will notice your ability to let your guard down and show signs of vulnerability, which paradoxically, means high levels of self-confidence.
So whenever you stumble upon a roadblock, reach someone from your workplace and kindly ask them to help you out, rather than see yourself as being the almighty “know it all”.
Make mistakes now before it’s too late
Look, if you want to get massive amounts of confidence, success and climb up on the ladder of your company’s hierarchy, you need to make mistakes. Why? Because mistakes are the most invaluable source of lessons that ever existed. Lessons learned the hard way boost your confidence, so when a similar situation comes up, it will now be a no brainer for you.
Let this quote guide you when you’re at work:
“An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.” - Niels Bohr
A lack of mistakes at your workplace equals a lack of risks, and in this case you should definitely consider undertaking more of them. You might drop a clanger from time to time, but your boss will on cloud nine when he sees you’re taking up challenges, and chances are you’ll win a spot on at rumored, salary raise requests – Accepted list.
Learn to say no, or prepare to get abused at work, people often try to get more things done, which in some cases means “outsourcing” a few tasks by asking you to help them out. While sometimes these requests are legit, don’t let your colleagues abuse you by getting accustomed to your help. Offer your assistance, but don’t turn into their valet, learn to say no when they repeatedly ask you to solve some of their problems, which they would deal with themselves.
However, saying no isn’t as easy as it sounds. In order not to come across as rude or impolite, use the following guidelines:
– Smile when you turn them down. Also, use a warm voice and open body language, so they know you’re not offended by their request.
– Make it clear that you’re refusing their request and not rejecting them as a person, by complimenting them before you turn their request down. This way, there won’t arise any hard feelings, so you won’t need to worry about losing your free ride back home.
Saying no when you would have otherwise accepted something you didn’t want to, will make your co-workers look at your different (in a good
way, of course), and your self-confidence levels will rise too.
Handle criticism graciously
You’ll always receive criticisms from time to time. It may be because you’ve taken risks and made a few mistakes, but don’t let them get to you. Instead handle them with grace: before you let any word come out of your mouth, think for a second and ask yourself “is this criticism fair?”.
If they’re totally unsupported and rude, then don’t even bother replying. People will notice you don’t have time to fool around, and you’ll grow in their eyes. However, sometimes somebody having your best interests at heart will make a fair point. Admit your mistake, thank them and learn from it. If necessary, apologies. It takes a good dose of confidence, and high self-esteem to admit you were wrong.
Let it go and be free
The truth is, the lack of self confidence comes from the thoughts we hold about the world, others and ourselves. What we think gives birth to our feelings, and in turn, these feelings drive our actions. If you learn to put behind what you believe about others, and what others believe about you, you’re left with a free and confident mind that will propel you further and further at your workplace. Here are some tips I found useful when trying to let go:
a) Stop judging yourself — This is a two way street. If you judge yourself, you’ll instinctively judge others too. So give yourself a break and focus on your work or projects instead.
b) Don’t let your emotions rule your life — Emotions come and go, but they shouldn’t impact on your confidence. It’s normal to feel pain, frustration, and anxiety from time to time. However, notice when you’re feeling them, observe them as they rush into your body and want to take control of your mind, and gently release them. They do not control you — you control them.
c) Be confident in your actions — Your actions project your personality. Take full responsibility for them and never let a doubtful thought creep into the back of your mind when you’re saying or doing something. Be bold.
All in all, being confident at work and shining like a star takes practice, practice and more practice. It won’t happen overnight, just like De Niro didn’t win 2 Oscars with his first Hollywood movie, but with ambition, persistence and useful advice, you’ll get there. I can give you more useful advice on my personal website, www.PersonalDevelopmentLand.info, but it’s ultimately up to you to decide if you want to make the change for better.
– What was the most helpful lesson you learned in the advice above?