Unstoppable Vision Key #2: Be FULLY PRESENT in every precious moment!
The ultimate secret to balance, connection, and peace of mind is also the most important key to building trust instantly with everyone you touch. The secret centers around a simple, yet immeasurably profound principle called being fully present.
Perhaps the most powerful way to understand this principle of being present is to look clearly at what it is not.
Several years ago when I was the vice-president of a large training company, I became painfully aware of what it means to not be present. At that time we were a family of three with my wife Carole and me, and our oldest daughter, Kelsey who was five years old. Our second child, Jenna had not yet been born.
Driven by an unrelenting, nearly suffocating feeling of overwhelm, I had fallen into the habit of reaching the office by 5:00 a.m. and not returning home until well after 6:00 in the evening. On most weekends I was away, teaching seminars around the country. Not once did I see my daughter get ready for kindergarten.
Not once did I surprise her by picking her up from school to spend some special, unexpected moments together. I mistakenly convinced myself that I didn’t have time. I had to be at the office first and to put more hours in than anyone else. After all, I was driving myself for my family, wasn’t I?
When I trudged wearily through the door at 6:30 or a quarter-to-seven each night, Kelsey ran to me the instant I appeared in the house. She threw her arms around me and told me how much she loved and missed me as she looked into my eyes with pure joy. She then began to tell me all about the wonderful things that happened to her all day—special, magical things that only happen when you are five years old.
And, I missed it. I didn’t hear a word she said. You see, when I walked in that door, my body showed up. But, my mind, my heart, and my spirit were still back at the office. The most important people in my life were right there, at home, waiting for me and I never really saw them or heard them when they most needed me because I was not present.
This went on for months until one morning as I drove into work I suddenly realized what my lack of presence was communicating to my wife and child. In that excruciating moment it felt as if someone had bashed me full-force in the stomach with a sledge hammer.
Emerson once said “What you do screams so loudly I can’t hear a word you’re saying.” Nothing screams so loudly as our presence or lack of presence. Every evening when I marched blankly through my front door, my thoughts still focused on the day’s events or worried about tomorrow’s, I expressed to Carole and Kelsey much more clearly than through words that they were not as important as all those other matters.
As I continued to drive that morning, all I could see in my mind was Kelsey’s shining eyes so filled with love. I was overcome with suffocating feelings of remorse and loss. Sobbing uncontrollably I finally recognized how many precious moments of connection I had lost with her and with Carole by not being present. In that instant I understood for the first time that there was nothing more important to me than becoming a master of being fully present for those I love. It was time to make the choice to come home.
By being present we let others know at a heart level how important they truly are. This is our greatest opportunity as parents, friends, professionals and caring human beings. When others feel important they begin to live up to their potential. Our presence breathes faith, belief, and positive expectation into their souls. Without this presence, we cannot truly give.
Like becoming a true breakthrough leader, being present is not something you can fake. It is not a technique. It is a decision. Do you know whether or not someone is actually fully with you in mind, body, and spirit? When I ask the participants in my seminars this question they reply with an immediate and emphatic “Yes!”
Can you even tell over the phone? Once again the answer is clear. We have a definite sense of whether the person on the other end of the line is right there with us, giving full concentration or drifting off and not truly connected.
When we make the conscious and consistent decision to be fully present to the very best of our ability, we open ourselves to more joy than we’ve ever imagined and create the possibility to make the difference for which we were put on this earth. It is the ultimate secret to living with an attitude of gratitude.
Remember: The past is history
The future a mystery
The gift is now
That’s why we call it the PRESENT!
_____________
Brian Biro is America’s Breakthrough Coach! He is one of the nation’s foremost speakers and teachers of Leadership, Possibility Thinking, Thriving on Change, and Team-Building. A former vice-president of a major transportation corporation and the author of 9 books including bestseller, Beyond Success! Contact Brian at www.BrianBiro.com
-what are some areas in your life where you could improve in the area of being “fully present”? What are you waiting for? As they say, there’s no time like the present 🙂 Share your thoughts on the ideas above in the comments below.