“I can’t do this anymore!” The words ringed in my ear over and over again. “I’m too tired. I need to take a break. Besides, I’ve done enough already.” Rationalizations poured out of me like vomit. With every sentenced, my back dropped lower into my chair.
My right hand slowly reached for the mouse. My left went for the keyboard. I typed in “youtube” and it was all over. Taking action was never my strong suit. As a kid, I made a habit out of doing everything in the last possible moment. I did my homework 30 minutes before going to school.
By the time I ate, my stomach was loud enough to raise the dead. My mother wanted me to take a nap between the time I got home from school and the time she got home from work (at 3 pm).
She would always find me in bed, soundly asleep (for the past 5 minutes). However, in third grade I had a revelation. For whatever reason, I started doing my homework as soon as I got home. By then, mom had removed the napping time (since it was so obviously useless) and instead told me to prepare for the next day. After a few months, I actually listened to her.
The next morning, as I entered my classroom, I felt relaxed, confident and strong. My teacher no longer had a reason to yell at me and smack my palms with a stick. I had nothing to fear.
I got home and, once again, did my homework. Watching television became so much more relaxing without the voice yelling “Homework! You still have homework!!” in my head. But time passes and all things pass with it. Three months later I was back to my old tricks. It seemed inevitable…
Fast forward to the present and I’m now having a serious cold. I’ve been working 14 hours a day for the past few weeks taking a break only to deal with the never ending dry neck and snotty nose. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve begun associating getting sick with my body telling me to rest.
Considering my past, I’m now quite the hardworking fellow. A day does not pass without me taking care of at least one major task (usually two or three); and I’m confident, strong and completely stressed out (which is not necessarily a bad thing).
So, how did I become such an action taker? The secret to this lies in my journey, a journey composed of steps. Know the steps and you can manufacture your own path to discipline. Know the steps and you can avoid the ones which made what could have been a month long boot-camp into a 4 years nightmare.
Here they are:
Step number 1: Want it!
Becoming self disciplined without wanting it is like winning the lotto without buying a ticket. You might find a winning ticket dropped on the side of the road, but what are the chances?
At 17 years old I had a revelation: I was lazy. I woke up in order to go back to sleep. Whatever happened between day and night I could not remember since it was not memorable in the least. My existence was a sad one. I had stumbled over personal development and decided I would (figuratively speaking) take over the world. But I was too lazy to do anything worth mentioning.
The self improvement industry opened my eyes to what I could achieve if I just took right action. But I was not capable of any kind of action. Therefore, I decided to build my character, focusing mostly on self control.
Step number 2: The lazy mans way of taking action
If you’re thinking that laziness and self discipline are opposites, you are right. But nobody told me that at 17 years old. So, I took the easy route towards success. In the following 12 months I watched every self help seminar I could find hoping some of it would rub off on me.
I did not try to implement anything I heard. Why would I? I thought that if I just believed the knowledge, my brain would pick it up and I would unconsciously become more disciplined.
Twelve months after thinking this, I had a brain full of knowledge I never used, making it completely and utterly useless. Finally, I decided to actually take action (in a big way).
Step number 3: Take massive action
“Enough!” I yelled to myself. I wanted to shout out loud and I would have if not for my parents and neighbors. “I’m sick of this. Enough!” Words poured out in a spiral. “I must do this or else I’m… Enough is enough!!” With each new rationalization I felt surer and surer of my need to take action.
The very cycle which glued me to the television was now compelling me to shut it down (permanently). I wrote a list of about 40 things I needed to change, ranging from eating habits to giving up games to going to school, etc. I was determined to succeed. Three days later I was equally determined to take a break. It was too much; I was too tired. I went online, downloaded my games once more and started playing.
The next 6 months went as such:
I would get extremely angry with myself and design a “30 day ultimate change your life challenge”. Two to four days later, I took (what I called) a small break. This break would end up lasting two to three weeks until I was so sick with my laziness that I gave the 30 day challenge one more shot. After six months of ups and downs I had given up television and video games for good. But I was done. I no longer had the energy nor the will to give it one more try.
I reverted to searching for a magic pill, for the easy way out. It took me a year to recover. Finally, I got back up and I decided that, no matter what happened, I would keep getting back up. If I failed to uphold the list, I would try to forget it ever happened and start all over again as soon as possible.
I imagined myself a warrior running on his path with a shield in his left and a spear in his right. From all directions, rocks came flying towards me. Most of them missed while some knocked me to the ground. “But I will not stop”, I told myself.
“I will not give in! I will get up each and every single time and I will, eventually succeed!!” Rationalizations circled through my head until I was dead set on my course. Days later, when a rock would eventually smack me down I would immediately look for a reason to get up.
Due to this, my weekly program became two/three days of work and four/five days of searching for reasons to leave youtube. It was an improvement compared to before, but I was still not satisfied.
Step number 4: Start your own “chess club”
Suddenly, it hit me. I am going to start a chess club. I’d been playing online for the past two days and learning tricks off of youtube. Teaching it would be easy. I had all the material in the world and a ton of experience (I’d been teaching kyokushin karate for well over a year).
I talked to my instructor and devised a plan. I would spread flyers at more than 10 schools, kindergartens, high schools. I was even thinking of approaching the old people playing in parks (too bad it was February).
I predicted the whole thing would be done with in about a week. A month later, after working myself to the bone and having no club to show for it, I finally threw in the towel. The attempt was a complete and utter failure. But as far as I was concerned, it was a raging success.
Yes, I failed to get the club going, but I did manage to get myself going. From weeks of failed attempts and even more weeks of leaning after my mess I developed a rather impressive work ethic.
A day did not pass without me solving at least one major problem. Realizing this, I panicked and rationalized a need to take a break. But even in my off days, I found myself working. And it annoyed me to no end that I did not work more. When it was all said and done, I had finally learned to take action. I am now what people call self disciplined.
Of course as far as I’m concerned, I’m still a lazy guy who needs to work harder; but I’m doing far better than the average Joe. In the end, the more action you take the more of an action taker you become. The more you discipline yourself, the more discipline you acquire.
Do not fool yourself into thinking there’s an easy route to anything worth having. Most people are not disciplined for the same reason why most people are not rich: because it’s hard. It is hard to push yourself, but it must be done.
If you want more out of life than just living, you must surpass your limits. Remember step number one and constantly remind yourself why you want to take action. Remember step number three and take action now. Remember step number four and throw yourself into a huge project that is bound to change you.
These were my steps, but just one may be enough for you. Pick it and apply. That’s all there is to it.
________________
Colisnicencu Daniel is a teacher, karate-ka, aspiring writer and entrepreneur.