We often think of our personal and professional lives as two separate things. You may try hard to keep your home life from affecting your job performance. And of course, no one likes to bring the office home with them. This probably also applies to your behavior, as you maintain a professional demeanor on the job while you let your hair down with family and friends.
The workplace certainly does present a more structured, less casual environment than your home. You might be able to get away with the occasional feet up on your desk, but you probably don’t want to talk to your boss the way you do with your best friend. However, there are personality traits and strategies you develop in your social interactions that can give you a huge boost in your career path.
How well have you integrated these skills in your personal life? If you don’t feel confident in any aspect, don’t worry. You might find it surprising, but they’re not talents you’re born with. With practice you can learn them just as you would riding a bike or playing guitar. Put them to use at your job for a whole new set of benefits.
Learn How to Talk to Anyone
Small talk is one of the best methods to develop rapport with others. You probably also associate it exclusively with social activities. But what about getting to know new co-workers? Even when you interact with your boss, you’re not talking shop 100 percent of the time. The art of small talk is actually perfect for the office because it builds relationships while still respecting personal boundaries.
If you need some help in this area, try creating a list of half-a-dozen or so questions that you can use in any situation. They might be along the lines of, “Where did you go to school?” or “Where did you work before?” As you get more comfortable you’ll be able to come up with others, but this gives you a base to practice with. Listen to the responses and let them guide the conversation in a natural direction.
Do, Then Become
Becoming adept at small talk is part of the larger skill of feeling comfortable around new people. In today’s workplace, employees don’t stay with a company for life as they did in the past. You’re likely to encounter several newcomers over your stay at a particular company. It will happen even more frequently if you have an ambitious career path planned.
If you tend to feel uncomfortable around people you don’t know, one way to change that is to adopt a strategy called “act as if”. Simply pretend that you have a ton of self-confidence and act accordingly. It’s sometimes easier to make changes from the outside in. If you demonstrate confidence on the outside, eventually your inside will catch up.
Become Fluent in Body Language
Body language is an extremely helpful skill to apply in work situations. Not only will it give you insight into others, it can be used to reinforce the image you yourself want to project.
Mirroring is one of the major categories of body language. It involves taking on the mannerisms of the person you’re speaking to in a subtle, non-obvious way. While it often happens subconsciously, you can learn to use it in a controlled way to build rapport. It’s also a great way to train yourself to be more observant of verbal and non-verbal cues given by others.
Come Out of Your Shell
Do you consider yourself an outgoing person? Having a low-key personality is fine, but people who avoid others are rarely going to feel comfortable in most social situations. This is especially true when it comes to the workplace. People who stand out are the ones who generally receive the best opportunities.
Projecting an outgoing personality makes use of all the methods discussed here. You can tie them all together by working to improve certain corresponding physical characteristics. A warm, genuine smile combined with a powerful voice and appropriate eye contact will make you someone that others naturally gravitate toward.
While you might believe that actual job skills are enough to create a successful career, the fact is that social skills are also important. A healthy sense of self-confidence will help you become the person everyone wants to know both in the office and out of it.
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David Morin is the founder of SocialSelf. He writes about how to increase your self confidence in social situations and how to live a more outgoing life.